Shibari Rope Lavender

"The delicious secret about rope bondage and shibari fun that most people don't talk about is that it requires close contact, lots of good skin sensation from light to deep, and ongoing sexy communication," Midori says.

Like most things in life, there is no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to shibari. The experience will be what you make it, and luckily, there are countless ways to tweak it to fit you and yours.

"It's infinitely adaptive as you can adjust and change it to suit all body types, physical conditions, and experience levels. You don't need to be flexible to enjoy shibari—you just need to be clear about what works and doesn't work for your body that day," Midori says.

"Negotiation, or the pre-play conversation required in shibari and other BDSM play, can empower everyone to set and respect good boundaries, develop excellent consent-making skills, engage in collaborative joy creation," Midori says. "This, in turn, gives each of us more confidence, and a path toward greater authenticity in self-expression."

According to Graveris, when you decide to submit to the experience, your body will reward you with feel-good hormones like endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine. Once you've gotten the hang of the techniques, you can push your body's limits until it rewards you with those benefits.

Even though there is plenty of information online, finding quality, reputable sources for information on shibari and related rope play can be quite challenging. If this is something you are truly interested in exploring, then consider connecting with your local BDSM community.

"Go to a class. Better yet, go to a lot of classes!" says Angie Rowntree, founder and director of ethical porn site SSSH. "Learning shibari and any kind of rope bondage takes commitment, time, and practice. Give yourself the opportunity to learn about it in person. There are also regional and national events that have a rope bondage component where you can go for a day, weekend, and sometimes longer to learn, practice and socialize with others that have similar interests to you."

Sex educator Madeleine Ross adds that it's vital to have an open discussion with your partner before trying shibari. "Be clear about what you expect from the experience and create a safe word that you can use with your partner if things get out of hand and either one of you wants to stop or pause," she says. "If you don't know your partner well in bed, it's best to ask a few basic questions like what signals they normally give when they're feeling good, how to tell if they're having a good time, signs to look out for if they're in pain or don't feel comfortable, and others."

Start with a few ties best suited to beginners, like the single- and double-column ties. Graveris recommends finding a comfortable and spacious place that you and your partner are familiar with. 

"Do not jump straight into shibari suspension," he adds. "Practice with floor ties to ensure that you apply the right methods and techniques before you're up in the air."

"Preplan each of your aftercare needs. After shibari fun, whether the playtime went fantastic or not, people often need their own time to transition. Give plenty of time for aftercare. This period of the afterglow is necessary for converting a good time into a fantastic memory," Midori says.

Midori recommends starting with ropes made from cotton, which are "easy on the skin, hold knots well, easy to wash after messy sexy fun, budget-friendly, and are not likely to cause allergic reactions. Shibari does not require you to have exotic or expensive ropes made of hemp, jute, or other fibers. Many people are allergic to these as well."

Start with shorter ropes, as they're easier to handle. Super long ropes can get tangled up, be hard to handle, and just increase frustration for the person tying and boredom for the person waiting to be tied, Midori says.

Always have a set of safety scissors nearby when playing. Sometimes knots simply get too tight or the person needs to get out fast.

Midori recommends starting with your most favorite sex position, then use the ropes to tie your partner into that shape. (Here's some sex position inspo, if you need it.)

Tie the right wrist to the right thigh and the left wrist to the left thigh. If the partner is a bit more flexible, try wrists to ankles.

There are plenty of resources available on learning how to do Shibari. 

We have attached some links to some youtube video's. There are also many books available to purchase.